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-   -   "Russian Pretzel Hold" story (https://forums.maxperformanceinc.com/forums/showthread.php?t=414038)

Tom Vaught 01-05-2002 11:59 PM

Based on a request from Jim Brady I will try to
tell a Pontiac version of the "Russian Pretzel
Hold" story.
There was a Russian who was a champion wrestler.
The Russian had developed a special technique where he was able to grab the opponent and by moving the oppenent's arms and legs around, tie the oppenent up so that the Russian could just roll the guy on his shoulders and the match was over.
Now there was this American who always wanted the
Russian's World title, (which by the way came with a lot of money and a brand new GTO)! The American wanted the title but he wanted the GTO
and the money more.
He hired the world's best trainer, best manager,
and even the Russians best sparring partner to
win the title. Every day he would practice with
the sparring partner until everytime the Russian
sparring partner tried to put him in the Pretzel
Hold he was able to escape.
After a few months, the manager, trainer, and the
American decided that they were ready. They made
a plan where they would borrow all of the money they could (from the Mafia), win the match, and
be wealthy the rest of their lives.
Fight night at the Madison Square Garden. The American Manager and the wrestler have a final short meeting in his corner. "What Ever You Do, Do Not Let The Russian Get You In The Pretzel Hold" says the manager.
"No Problem" says the American
The bell rings and the first round starts.
Wam! Inside of 10 SECONDS the Russian has the
American in the Pretzel Hold. Things are looking bad. The manager looks out into the crowd and sees the mafia guys going for their guns.
Suddenly, there is a terrible yell! The manager
looks back at the wrestlers and the American IS ON TOP! The referee slaps the mat three times and the match is over! The American wins!
The manager, the trainer, and the wrestler are
back in the training room. The manager is smiling, the trainer is smiling, but the wrestler doesn't look to good.
The manager says "What happened in there? I thought that we were dead! How did you get out of the Pretzel Hold?"
The wrestler says "Well, there I was. Couldn't move my arms, couldn't move my legs, and the Russian was ready to roll me up on my shoulders"
"I looked up and right in front of me was these two big hair covered objects". I BIT THEM!!
THEY WAS MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tom Vaught 01-05-2002 11:59 PM

Based on a request from Jim Brady I will try to
tell a Pontiac version of the "Russian Pretzel
Hold" story.
There was a Russian who was a champion wrestler.
The Russian had developed a special technique where he was able to grab the opponent and by moving the oppenent's arms and legs around, tie the oppenent up so that the Russian could just roll the guy on his shoulders and the match was over.
Now there was this American who always wanted the
Russian's World title, (which by the way came with a lot of money and a brand new GTO)! The American wanted the title but he wanted the GTO
and the money more.
He hired the world's best trainer, best manager,
and even the Russians best sparring partner to
win the title. Every day he would practice with
the sparring partner until everytime the Russian
sparring partner tried to put him in the Pretzel
Hold he was able to escape.
After a few months, the manager, trainer, and the
American decided that they were ready. They made
a plan where they would borrow all of the money they could (from the Mafia), win the match, and
be wealthy the rest of their lives.
Fight night at the Madison Square Garden. The American Manager and the wrestler have a final short meeting in his corner. "What Ever You Do, Do Not Let The Russian Get You In The Pretzel Hold" says the manager.
"No Problem" says the American
The bell rings and the first round starts.
Wam! Inside of 10 SECONDS the Russian has the
American in the Pretzel Hold. Things are looking bad. The manager looks out into the crowd and sees the mafia guys going for their guns.
Suddenly, there is a terrible yell! The manager
looks back at the wrestlers and the American IS ON TOP! The referee slaps the mat three times and the match is over! The American wins!
The manager, the trainer, and the wrestler are
back in the training room. The manager is smiling, the trainer is smiling, but the wrestler doesn't look to good.
The manager says "What happened in there? I thought that we were dead! How did you get out of the Pretzel Hold?"
The wrestler says "Well, there I was. Couldn't move my arms, couldn't move my legs, and the Russian was ready to roll me up on my shoulders"
"I looked up and right in front of me was these two big hair covered objects". I BIT THEM!!
THEY WAS MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tom Vaught 01-08-2002 12:35 AM

CCASS,
Please remove this in a week if Jim Brady does not respond. This was for his benefit and can be
removed at your discretion.
Tom V.

jim brady 01-11-2002 11:40 AM

Their I was ! Tom I never laughed so hard in all my life. Remember the guy at the booth at the airport. Then we ended up getting lost. We had a really fun trip. We have to make a road trip again and I will show you how a Cummins at about 400 horse pulls. Set the cruise on 90 with the 40 ft trailer and go.

Tom Vaught 01-11-2002 07:50 PM

Lets do it Jim and maybe we will have more stories for the forum


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