[Mr Anonymous]

Three best ones:

1. Popped a heater hose on I-64 in KY in the early 90s, middle of the night - headed back to Morehead State. fixed the hose, refilled the car with creek water, but running the light I needed to do the work drained the battery just enough. Walked two miles in the dark to a rest area. before cell phones, so I called AAA, who managed to wake up some crazy hillbilly that picked me up in his tow truck, with him wearing nothing but a bathrobe. He then made unwanted s*xual advances that I found disturbing. We got the car started and I left there like the car was stolen. Thanks AAA.

2. Friend got a cell phone on a Friday. I get a frantic call from him that night, as he was supposed to be delivering a vehicle to me, in the dark because it had no plates or insurance, and his place was only 6 miles away. "Come quick, down ****** road from your house! Bring a wheel, some lug nuts, and a floor jack!" I was there in less than 10. Why the need to bring a wheel? Was it flat? NO! the lug nuts came off, the wheel came off, and went into a wooded area and he couldnt find it! Got it to my house before any cops showed up.

3. Last year, loaded up my 24' enclosed and my 2500 4x4, 454 suburban, headed for norwalk. Friends and I pulled into a parking lot to eat, I notice some unfortunate bastard is leaking transmission fluid. I follow the trail thru the parking lot, and find it leads back to my suburban - meaning the unfortunate bastard is me. Trans cooler line rusted out, behind engine mount. Putting new line in around the old one, cut my hand pretty bad. I was on a blood thinner, so there was my blood and a bunch of trans fluid accumulating in the parking lot. Checked that lot on the way home on Sunday, still looked like someone murdered a hog. (i'd tried to clean it up and advised the owners of the place, im not an asshole...)