[fiedlerh]

Found this on CL, but I edited it and added some of my own. I sure you guys can add some too...

AC needs charge = But leaks out the evaporator in 10 minutes
Adult Owned =Former street racer
Aftermarket Sound System = It has a garage sale K-Mart cassette player
All Original = Never had anything fixed, maintained, or replaced
Always Garaged = Because it never starts
Bad Credit? = We'll make it worse with our outrageous interest rates
Buy Here Pay Here = We charge 29.9% interest
Car Show Award Winner = Won $2 plastic trophies from idiots who know nothing about cars
Classic = Rusted out 4 door beater
Clean Title = Salvage title washed in Alabama
Custom = Stupid-looking 28" rims and a tacky paint job
Fast = I’ve beat on the as long as I’ve owned it
For Parts Only = It's stolen and this is the only way I can get rid of it
Fresh Paint! = Painted right over rust and dents
Freshly Detailed = I took it to the $3 car wash
Fully Loaded = I was fully loaded when I wrote this ad
Good on gas = Pings so bad you won't dare floor it
Good tires = Has 4 tires, 2 have tread
Great First Car = If you know nothing about cars, I've got deal for you!
Highway Miles = Odometer broke after 200,000 miles
Locally Owned = Engine is full of sludge from short trips
Looks Good = Can't see the bad paint and dents from 20 feet
Like New = The rain washed some of the dirt off
Lots of Potential = Plain-Jane 4 door sedan with no options
Low Miles = Replaced gauge cluster with one from junkyard
Make Offer = I’m trying to get more than what the car is worth
Many New Parts = And I still have no idea what is wrong with it
Mechanic's Special = It time for this car to torture another mechanic
Meticulously Maintained = Spent most of it's time in the repair shop
Minor Oil Leak = Keep a couple of quarts in your trunk
Mint Interior = Rips unnoticeable when you are sitting in the seat
Moving, Must Sell = This car probably won't make it across town
Must See to Appreciate = How ridiculous my description is
Must Sell = Lost my license after the last DUI police chase
My Loss is Your Gain = I got screwed; now it's your turn
Needs Minor Repair = Just remove the dash to replace the leaking heater core
Needs Nothing = But burns a quart of oil every 500 miles
Needs Paint = Plus $5000 in rust repairs
Needs Some Body Work = Not to mention bent rims, trashed suspension, bad transmission
Needs tune up = To fix the blue smoke blowing out the exhaust
Never Been in an Accident = Buddies fixed it with junkyard parts so it doesn't show up on CarFax
New tires = I bought the cheapest tires I could find
Nicest One on Craigslist = Only one on Craigslist in this hideous color
No Engine Leaks = Everything else leaks
No Longer Need = Lost my license due to bad driving
No Rust = Hoping you won't notice the rust
Not enough time to repair = I have no idea how to fix this
OBO = I'll take what I can get just to unload this POS
OBO = I'll never get five grand for a 1992 Dodge Intrepid with a bad transmission
One Careful Owner = Plus 6 not so careful ones
Original Owner = I've been trying to unload this POS since I bought it
Owned by an Old Lady = Driven by her drunk husband
Owned by Non-Smoker = Crack and weed don't count
Parents No Longer Driving = Scrapes and dents up and down both sides
Parts Car = I already sold all the desirable parts
Power Everything = Power windows, 3 out of 4 work
Priced for Quick Sale = I need to get rid of it before the cops find it
Privacy Glass = I'm tired of getting tickets for illegal tint
Project Car = Rust bucket with missing engine, bring wasp spray for the nest in the trunk
Rare = Only one I've seen with green paint and a red interior
Recent Brake Job = My brother-in-law did it for a 6-pack
Recently Serviced = Mechanic said to never bring it back
Runs Good = Crossing my fingers it starts when you come see it
Se Habla Espanol = Sorry, we don't speak English
Seldom Driven = Spent most of its life in the shop
Selling For a Friend = The real owner is a fly-by-night used car lot
Slight Transmission Problem = Nothing $4000 won't cure
Too many projects = My wife is going to leave if I don't get this out of the garage
Very Little Rust = I won't tell you about the hidden rust
Wow! Cheap! = Cracked block / totaled

[coonhunter70]

That's about right on.
Another one you see is, lady owned and driven = Husband ran the **** out of it when I wasn't with him

[shawn e.]

No Low Ballers= I want more than it is worth.

Shawn

[vwmailman]

That's outstanding! LMAO

[py71lemans]

Ready for paint = still needs 5K worth of body work.

[mgarblik]

What makes that list so funny is IT'S ALL TRUE. I think I have experienced every one of those in the Dayton, Ohio Craig's list. Buyer BEWARE!!!

[bird72]

Never Been Raced = Flogged to Kingdom Come

[Chris65LeMans]

Easy fix! = ... For a guy who welds body panels for a living