[Rafe LORHO]

I've already told this one on another topic, but it didn't get much response at the time, so I've padded it out and given it a bit more embellishment - well here goes:

We few brave hearted souls who actually drive American Cars in France often get invited to the local Bike shows, summer concerts and classic car gatherings.
The last one in this list – classic cars – we try to avoid because the majority of classic car owners hate us! They've spent years rebuilding their jalopy up to what they think is original condition. In fact, their cars are so perfect that they are not at all like the day they rolled off the production line. I've seen MGA's with mirror finish paint on perfect fitting body panels and luxurious deep pile carpets. My Dad says that in his day these cars were not so great: they rattled because nothing fitted properly, they were not that comfortable and they were certainly not upholstered in deep pile carpets.
It's not so much the arguments as to what is original that make's them hate us, it's the fact that we have machines that rolled off the production line with more usable horsepower than they've had hot diners!
They have spent small (and even quite large) fortunes on rebuilding their cars. Those who have up-rated their motors are proud to announce power outputs touching the 150 to 200 HP mark.
Heck, we don't even get out of bed for anything less than 200HP! The average Yank motor is pumping 250, 350 or 400HP (depending on its age, pollution laws at the time etc…) without even sweating. And since most of us like "tweaking" our motors a little, we are all starting close to 400HP with some of us up in the low five hundreds. (Mine does 500 HP spot on.)
Of course you have the odd Ferrari owner amongst the classic guys and his machine does the same as ours. However, he knows very well that his crate cost him 5 times more than mine, his insurance is astronomical and his fuel consumption is no better.
But I think the thing that really makes him hate us is when we discuss the price of our performance parts: we can put a couple thousand euros (or dollars) into our motor and have a pretty good machine at the end of the day. Heck, he can't even get his carburettors rebuilt for that price! And woe betides if he's got any serious engine work to undertake – he's looking at thousands, if not tens of thousands….
Tough luck – "you takes yer choice and you pays yer money" – still doesn't stop 'em hating us though!!

Back to the story:

Well last year we all zoomed off to the annual 2-day "American Bikes and Cars" at Pont Scorff (Pont Scorff - your average middle-of-no-where village in the heart of the Brittany countryside).

Actually I didn't really zoom because my recently finished engine rebuild (night before!!) hadn't had the time to get adjusted properly and the car ran like a pig. However, the car limped the 15km to Pont Scorff and I parked close to stage in the shade of the trees (close to the beer tent as well! Hey, one has to get ones priorities right!)
Now while the car would not drive very well that day, it did run without stalling and I could rev the engine up with no problem. At least I could do "broom broom" for the visitors.
So as the day went by there were more and more people who came to look at the car, and more importantly the engine bay. Every half hour or so I gave in to the requests "Hey, could you start it up please?"
The onlookers were quite impressed once the motor fired up and for a good reason, here's the build up:
(P.S. If you're not a tech freak, than skip this paragraph – OK.)

Fully prepared 403ci block
Forged steel crank, balanced etc…
Forged flat top ROSS pistons
Fully modified heads – ported, polished, crossover filled, exhaust divider welded up etc…
High perf ENGLE cam driven by a gear drive
OFFENHAUSER inlet topped off with a HOLLY Projection 900cfm
Big headers running into a dual 3" PYPES exhaust system going through their "Race" mufflers.

(Hi, welcome back you non technical readers)

Well whatever, it makes noise and a lot of it!!
The "Race" mufflers don't do much apart from looking cool – they don't actually muffle any of the sound – more so they seem to accentuate the sound, making it even more painful for anyone stupid enough to walk behind the car while it's running.

At this point in the story, I would like to state the only thing that I have in common with the bikers at this kind of show is the noise of our exhausts. I'm not tattooed, I don't wear leather gear, I can't spit very far and I don't drink huge amounts.
However, once the Trans Am starts, the bikers will come over and talk to me – it's quite scary really!! I just rev it up some more hoping that they won't get mad and start a fight. In fact, they don't get mad and judging by all the thumbs up they give me, not to mention the friendly slaps on my back (that does hurt mind you!), they like me and my car.
Never thought a wimp like me could have "street cred" with the local chapter of the Hell's Angels!!!

Well, you get the picture; my car made a decent amount of noise and seemed to impress most people who came to see it up close. I still got a few stupid remarks like: "You should get that hole in your exhaust fixed." and "Are you sure that's legal?"

By the middle of the afternoon the first band came on the stage and started their sound checks. The crowd moved away from the show cars and started to line up in front of the stage. With less people around, I could now take some time to relax as well. The organisers had put some tables at the side of the stage and in general these tables had been reserved by the bikers and the other groups performing that day. I "bagged" a table for myself which overlooked my car and has a reasonable view of part of the stage as well.
A little time after, the rest of my family arrived and we all settled down for the music. Dad tells me of the Ford Grand Torino he overtook on the way down to Pont Scorff – obviously the French version of Starsky didn't know how to drive! Being scorched by a rusty old Citroën CX, now that's was embarrassing!!

So here we all were listening to the 1st group - a Rock-a-Billy band with a touch of local folk music – quite good really! There were even a few people dressed in 1950's clothes who started dancing in front of the stage.
I just have to make a remark about the lead singer's hair style: a Teddy Boy banana quiff with more canter levered overhang than one of my traction bars!! Greasy black in colour as well, just like my suspension components! Not that it mattered because he sang very well.

About one hour later this group had finished and everyone applauded for what was a pretty good show.
The next group up was a band of teenagers with long hair, worn out shoes and beaten-up guitars – a sort of French version of Nirvana.
Once they started playing everyone groaned! It was utter rubbish compared with the previous group. Their imitation of Nirvana on a crappy day mixed with Aerosmith-like facial expressions was not to the crowds liking. As well, it was played extremely loud – they obviously had Spinal Tap amps that went all the way up to eleven, and they were going to blow that famous 50amp fuse if it was the last thing they could do…

The crowd, my family and I all decided to go back to the rest of the car and bike show. We left France's "Aero-vana" to perform by themselves with no audience. They seemed to be used to that anyway!

Back at the cars, more spectators had arrived. It was now the late in the afternoon (teatime for us English!) and your average French family had just got out of its home to see what was making all that noise at Pont-Scorff. They were not disappointed: V-twins, V-8s, a couple of V-6s and one straight eight from 1951, not to mention the odd 4 cylinder Gordini with a racing exhaust and one or two flat sixes. And all that wrapped up in the ambiance of outdoor cooking, cheerful camaraderie and onstage music.

I said onstage music? Well "Aero-vana" was still playing and that was not helping the ambiance! As well, they seemed to be coming to the climax of their show – if climax was the right word? They were jumping up and down a bit more while agitating their guitars and screaming louder. It was starting to get painful…

In order to neutralise this awful sound emanating from the stage, I decided to start my engine. (I could stand my own decibels better than theirs.) I let the engine warm up for a couple of minutes at idle speed. This gave the crowd time to gather around the front of my car and make admiring comments and thumbs-up gestures. It also incited the owners of the few cars close to mine to do the same thing. All in all after five minutes there were a dozen V-8s rumbling nicely with a couple of V-twins adding their harmonics to this improvised concerto.
On the count of three we all revved up our machines and held them at speed. I let my motor touch the 6500 rpm limit. The result wasn't just loud, it was extreme. It left you breathless, bathing in a kind of white noise beyond the point of just plain deafening; somewhere close to audible oblivion…. A true nirvana…
When your head is being vibrated with this level of sound, time is relative, the sound is everywhere and yet nowhere, you can count your heartbeats one at a time: badoom, badoom, badoom, badoom………

There probably hadn't been this much piston powered engine noise at one moment in the Brittany countryside since the last B-17 bomber took off from the local airfield in 1945.

We held our engines at speed for what must have been no more than a minute, but it seemed like an eternity. And then, slowly, one by one, each car and bike owner eased off his or her throttle. The noise faded away as each of us turned off our ignitions switches. My ears were still ringing to ghostly reverberations in my head. You could hear the echoes from the surrounding hills as the sound moved out across the fields…. and then there was nothing. Nothing at all, not even a bird calling or an insect buzzing. For nearly 30 seconds no one said anything, and then we all started to giggle. The Harley guys were s******ing as well. Our giggles became laughter and then everyone who had participated and witnessed this show of exhaust pipe sounds just started clapping. We were all just big kids having a bit of fun with our cars and showing off to the crowd.

Wait a minute, there was something missing – what was it? Ah yes, you remember "Aero-vana" who had been on the stage before we started up our engines? Well, they were no longer playing. In fact our show of exhaust power had blown them away. (I mean literally "blown away" because not only had they got all the sound in their ears, but because of the position of most of the cars, with the back ends facing the stage, our exhausts had kicked up a huge cloud of dust and blown it directly into their faces!!)
. They couldn't compete with All American Muscle. They had been completely overwhelmed with our noise that they couldn't even hear themselves play, so they had stopped playing. They were now packing up their guitars and leaving the stage.
And this was the reason that the crowd was applauding us, not because they particularly liked hearing our cars at full revs, but because we had just over powered and out performed the loudest and most awful rock concert of the day.
No one wanted to put up with "Aero-vana's" screaming guitar bashing crap, and we had ended that suffering.
We were the motorised heroes of the hour.
Long live cubic inches.

Well that's the end of my "louder then a rock concert" story. I hope you liked it.
Best regards,
Rafe

[chuckmnv]

Great story, Rafe! Yeah, let's hear it for godd ol' American muscle!
cm

[Jack Gifford]

You held your [un-loaded] 403 engine at 6,500 RPM for a minute? I'd like to get to know your engine builder. I'm also tempted to (foolishly) say something about "dumber than a rock concert".

[Rafe LORHO]

Pontiac Jack,
I build my own engines, and if they break, it's my own fault!
And no, I didn't keep it at 6500rpm, I just revved it up and then let it back off - it makes more than enough noise between 2000 and 3000 rpm!!
Besides, it is the overall story that counts, not the details.
I thought this topic was for amusement purposes? If we are going to get all serious and critical, I'll stick with my French forums.
Regards,
Rafe

[Jack Gifford]

Originally Posted by Rafe LORHO

... revved up our machines and held them at speed. I let my motor touch the 6500 rpm limit...We held our engines at speed for what must have been no more than a minute... then, slowly... eased off his or her throttle.

You wrote it; I responded.
Yes, it was amusing enough for me to read your whole piece. Keep having fun.

[racerman]

ha i wish i coulda been there!!! that had to be great

[RASK]

Funny story, well written. My car has the Pypes cross flow system with the Racepro muffler. It would never blow a rock band off stage but that's the way he wants it. However, back in the day, I had a '76 with nothing but headers and glass packs that would have complimented you ensemble nicely.

[hpbongers]

Anyone there think about using this as a lot so silent kick them off the stage thing. Could be a new fad.