Sometimes I wonder how much of who we think we are is just made up of things we absorbed without realizing — from school, family, random moments that just stuck for no clear reason. You start pulling on one thread and the whole shape of you shifts. It’s both scary and kind of freeing.

That hits home more than I’d like to admit. For me, it got really loud during lockdown — like everything external just went quiet, and I had no choice but to face the internal mess. I thought I was just “busy” before, but truth is, I was distracting myself constantly because I didn’t know how to deal with the stuff under the surface. I didn’t want to go into therapy at first, it felt too heavy, so I tried out smaller steps. Journaling, reflection prompts, stuff like that. Eventually I found tools that helped me structure what I was feeling without overwhelming me. One thing that made a big difference was reframing how I speak to myself — I didn’t realize how brutal my self-talk was until I started actively noticing. I know not everything works for everyone, but I found this liven app review that got me curious, and I gave it a shot. It’s not magic, but it’s weirdly grounding.

I didn’t realize I was completely disconnected from myself until I took a break from work last year. It was supposed to be just some time to rest, but I started noticing how uncomfortable I felt doing nothing. I couldn’t be alone with my thoughts for more than ten minutes without getting this weird anxious restlessness. My brain was full of noise like a dozen browser tabs open at once, and none of them were actually helpful. I kept bouncing between guilt and self-criticism, like I wasn’t allowed to feel stuck. I think the hardest part was admitting that I didn’t really know how to take care of myself mentally — not in a deep way. That realization was low-key terrifying, but it pushed me to finally start paying attention to what’s going on inside and not just outside. Still figuring it out, but I’m not avoiding it anymore.