A non-auto related ad. I posted this add on the Long Island craigslist in the "gigs" section. Any hockey fans here might know how horrible my NY Islanders are playing this year. So I decided to take matters into my own hands and try and help them out.
http://longisland.craigslist.org/cwg/4248940314.html
Time Bender (Uniondale, NY)
The New York Islanders are looking for a motivated, team oriented individual for a part time position. Qualified applicants must possess excellent hand/eye coordination, concentration, and ninja-like reflexes.
Job duties - As the official game time keeper, individual must start and stop the scoreboard clock as the game progresses. This can be a very difficult task since there are frequent play stoppages for several reasons. This is where the hand/eye coordination and concentration come in. The ninja-like reflexes are needed for the most important part of the job. During the course of the 60 minute game, the time keeper must find a way to shave off approximately 3-4 minutes of play without the opposing team, on and off ice officials, or NHL headquarters finding out. Also, the referee has a stopwatch that must be "adjusted" along with the scoreboard clock. The need for this morally questionable activity stems from the inability of our team to hold on to a lead. This is particularly troublesome in the final minutes of games. Ridding ourselves of those last difficult minutes could be the difference in our struggle to gain NHL notoriety. The skills and experience that you may possess could be of great value to our organization.
Performing these duties will ensure a long lasting career with an up and coming professional organization. As the team grows and moves to an updated facility, you just may move with them.
If you are passionate about the sport of hockey and will do anything to help your favorite team win, then this is the job opportunity of a lifetime for you. Please send your resume to the New York Islanders headquarters attn: Garth Snow