con·sult·ant
kənˈsəltnt/
noun
1. The most expensive solution to a problem that never existed with people that don't even work for you company.
2. Someone who borrows your watch to tell you the time, keeps the watch, and then sends you a bill for it.
All jokes aside, I've seen my share of consultants and my opinion is that they are all glorified lot lizards. They are very skilled at repeating the correct buzzwords into the right ears at any given company. They propose these grand solutions filled with paradigms with exotic names meant to impress the naive. The consultants leave after their "solutions" are implemented. Then about six months of living with the solution, everyone realizes what BS and waste it all was.
By then, the consultants are long gone, and on to the next schmuck.
But the real issue is that the upper management guy that brought in the consultants usually take any criticism of the consultants very personal, so you are left with a giant elephant in the room that no one talks about.
We had a consultant come in a few years ago pitching the "lean manufacturing" deal.
All it did was make it 5 times longer to get anything done.
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The joker in the deck keeps sending me his card.
Smiling friendly, he takes me in.
Then breaks my back in a game I can't win.
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