Quote:
Originally Posted by 71GP76TA
My parents probably enabled me to a point... More my mom than my dad. My dad wanted to kick me out when I was 18. My parents are still married.. I'm an only child. When I was 32 I was a strung out loser sleeping in my car... when I slept. Went from that to sleeping on my parents patio until I got a job. That was my rock bottom. Life was a roller coaster when I was in my 20's.. on and off drugs.. I usually worked.. had my own place. If I screwed that off.. I'd move back in with mommy and daddy.. I always had a car.. usually something cool. I started doing drugs when I was 16-17. I dropped out of high school. My parents gave me a choice.. go to school.. get a job.. or get out.. I got a job at Burger King when I was 16. After 18 I worked at several tire stores 1st as a tire buster .. then a salesman. I got my **** together when I was 32.. I am now 53 and have a very successful automotive business that I built from nothing. ... Enough of the soapbox..
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When I bought this farmhouse with 4 acres this past year, the whole interior of the house needed painting badly. My wife hired a painter to do it so it would get done timely. Yes, I can paint, but one person can only do so much, and I nave plenty of other stuff to fix and remodel without trying to take on the painting too.
I spent a lot of time here while the painter and his crew were working for just over a week. I of course got to talk to the owner and his crew quite a bit. The owner is a recovered alcoholic (many painters I've known in the past are). He hires all drug, and alcohol recovering laborer's to work for him. He of course has some that relapse, and he can spot a relapse from a mile away having been in their place.
He wants to give them a chance, same as someone else did for him at one time. He pays them $100 a day in cash, provides them with lunch, and he has an oversize van he picks them up in each day, because many have no drivers license, due to their addictions. If they screw up, they lose their job. It happened to one guy while they were here working. It's a good program, and he's trying to repay the generosity that he got from an employer long ago.
As Cliff, and others have said, the person has to want to do it, no one can do it because someone else wants them to. It has to be their decision, else they just fall back into the same patterns.
I did get to ask the owner why he finally got clean, he said he was a high functioning alcoholic, went to work, but finally got tired of hangovers, lying, lost his first wife over it, no one wanted to have anything to do with him, so HE decided to stop drinking. Religion, and God was also involved in his recovery.
Any person I've known that has recovered, usually God plays a role, and they have to want to do it, no one can force them too.
I once had a guy that worked for me when I owned my garage and service station that I found out as an alcoholic, unbeknownst to me when I hired him. He was a fantastic mechanic, young, hard working, but when he would relapse he would leave his family and go on a bender for a week or two. draw every bit of money out of his bank account, and drink until he ran out of money, very sad. I gave him 3 chances, had him go into counseling but 3 strikes and you're out with me.
A few years later he started going to AA meetings, and finally kicked his habit. He actually came to where I was working, and apologized to me for screwing up, and thanked me for giving him a chance to straighten out. Part of the AA program is to apologize to every person that you have wronged.
