Could they have been Belgian fries all along?
The important matter at hand is this: If the French-speaking Belgians who "invented" French Fries (do I really need to capilaize the F?) were making sure every Fry was exactly 1/4" x 1/4", that would mean they were using English rulers. Just imagine! I bet they were secretly protestants who fled the country, and thus weren't French at all. Furthermore, they likely made them out of desperation when their new neighbors learned about their indescretions and stopped sharing the good waffles with them. Those same Belgian patriots immediately invented waffle fries just to spite the renegade piggies, and we all know the waffle fry is the highest form of the art.
Short version, your whole theory is whack.
That said, I'm glad those traitors to the Crown and the Papacy were so well-provisioned with extra fryers and plenty of oil. If all you can get is potatoes, you have to get out your smuggled ruler and try your best.
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