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Here's my story about steeling my own car. Sorry its so long.

Speaking of police officers, I had an unfortunate incident one afternoon. I was at the BP gas station in Shenandoah, GA eating me an icecream sandwich. I got off the bench to toss the wrapper and walk back to my car. While I was doing this, an officer from the Georgia State Police pulled into the parking lot. He watched me walk back to the car and try to open the lock. My drivers side lock can be a little difficult at times to open, and requires you to jiggle the key and press the door handle to open it. After being successful in this regard, I got in the car and reached under the gas peddle to get my cell phone, which had slid down there. I then started the car and proceeded to get back on the interstate. This officer figured that he had just caught a common criminal in the act, and even had it on tape. And so there I was, driving down the street, when all of a sudden there are blue lights everywhere. I wasn’t speeding so I didn’t know what the problem was. I was then told to get out of the vehicle. The officer said, “Son, why did you steal this car?” I then said, “Officer, I didn’t.” Then he said, “Yes you did, and I have it all on tape.” Then I said, “No, you don’t.” The officer, getting a little angrier now said, “Yes you did, you walked up to the car, picked the lock, hotwired the ignition, and then drove off. "And its all on tape.” So I said to myself, “Self, he thinks that I stole this car, and I don’t feel that I was meant to go to jail over this car.” Then self said, “You have a New Mexico drivers license, a New Mexico plate, and New Mexico registration. That’s an unusual combination for Georgia, use that to win your freedom.” So I then reached for my back pocket, with every intention to get my wallet. Faster then you can say “fried chicken” I was on the ground in a rather uncomfortable position looking at the business end of a 9mm.

Half an hour later I was trying to get the dirt off my pants after successfully explaining what I was trying to do with my right hand. The officer had taken my license, registration, etc, and after watching the tape, calling into headquarters, using his computer, and listening to me explain that the lock wasn’t picked or the car hotwired, let me go. As I crossed the Chatahoochee River into Alabama, Georgia and its police system received the one fingered salute.

Moral of the story: Don’t look like you’re stealing a car in front of a police officer. And if you do, don’t reach for something the officer can’t see without telling him what you’re doing. Actually, just don't steal your own car, even though you can't really steal it, just don't do it.