[HJones1313]

I'm posting this simply out of annoyance, which is [unfortunately] aimed squarely at High Performance Pontiac magazine, only because it's a mag that I read regularly. The comments I'm going to make can be said for many other car mags. What I'm talking about is the inane attempts to make the article more exciting; at least thats what I assume the writers are trying to do, where a short sentence is given embellishment, e.g; "drops the hammer and stretches the Goat's legs", instead of, say, launches quickly. Don't knock my example, after all this purely my opinion.On page 20 -24, Aug 2014 issue, "A wolf in Goat's clothing", there were just so many of these artistic bits of grammar I had to write something; here's the list from said article.

"hit of giggle juice"
"to open up the GTO's lungs"
"waved the white flag and surrendered"
"pushrods keep the top end synchronized"
"cam orchestartes the system"
"a battalion of boosted air"
"into the gullet of the mill"
"puts this dictator's power to the pavement"
"under the hood of this prowling Pontiac"
"monitor the engine's vitals during active duty"
"condensed air molecules in check adn flowing without interruption"
"pass the ponies to a stock T56"

and the last sentence of the article;

"This monster of a GTO has some big teeth and knows how to use them"

Reasons for my dislike?

I'm getting old,
They annoy me,
I've read too many technical manuals,
They annoy me,
I'm becoming a grumpy old man,
Did I mention they annoy me?