[grandam1979]

Start making him pay rent and for food and also supply his own hygiene products you might be amazed how fast he figures it out. I would charge him the going rate for a nice apartment not a room.

[Elarson]

A girlfriend and a total lack of privacy at your house would be one method. Too bad you have no control over the girlfriend part.

Eric

[JSuchma]

Originally Posted by grandam1979

Start making him pay rent and for food and also supply his own hygiene products you might be amazed how fast he figures it out. I would charge him the going rate for a nice apartment not a room.

It worked like a charm for us! In fact, my wife was the one that wanted him out. He's 29 now, has a home and is making more $ than me.

[68WarDog]

Originally Posted by grandam1979

Start making him pay rent and for food and also supply his own hygiene products you might be amazed how fast he figures it out. I would charge him the going rate for a nice apartment not a room.

He makes a "token " monthly contribution, but nowhere near actual cost. Wife and I are comfortable retirees. He volunteers at the wife's church and he's not interested in the military ( my recommendation) in "finding himself "with the possibility of some directions . And he definitely not interested in helping out in the garage. My oldest son feels he too lazy to come and stay with him, just for a short time.

[LKLusza]

Originally Posted by grandam1979

Start making him pay rent and for food and also supply his own hygiene products you might be amazed how fast he figures it out. I would charge him the going rate for a nice apartment not a room.

Amen! I was 18 when, at two weeks after I graduated high school in the early '70s, my dad told me to go fill up my car with gas "on him". When I got back, he told me that that was the last thing I got from him until I got a job (Yikes!). The next day, I came home and proudly reported that I had job, he said "Great! Now, about room and board..."

Obviously, I didn't appreciate it at the time, but in retrospect it was one of the best lessons he taught me. After working and saving for about a year or so, I managed to do well enough to afford my own apartment. Ultimately, I put myself through college, and I have since retired from a local Adult-Ed Vo-Tech school as a program coordinator and Health Services Administration Instructor.

I also had an older brother who pulled the same "I haven't found myself" shtick. Pop gave him 1 semester at college to do just that. He flunked out due to goofing off and was "invited" to leave. 48hours after he got home with that news, Pop drove him to the Navy recruiting office. Well, many, many years later, my brother retired as an accomplished and respected Naval officer and went on to get his Master's degree in Education and become a successful teacher as a second career - all on his own.

Sometimes all it takes is a little "kick start" to get things going.

[gobrdgo]

I wrote a book but didn’t hit reply fast enough. But I don’t doubt a mothers or fathers love. It’s complicated and some kids are gonna do what they’re gonna do. Don’t blame yourself. I come from a large family and we have our black sheep. Lord knows mama tried.