[Tom Vaught]

I showed up at and eventually got my piece of paper from one of them there engine-earing skools in Michegan. As I was a professional college studnt most of the years I was there I kneeded to take a brake from stuudin some times. I had a good friend who was studing to be a prist in the siminairy. He was a "big Time" drinker, which I found out later was common among them fellers. I had come bak from working for Unkle Sam in the govment war with them little fellers with Ho names. Ho Chi somethin, etc. I found out that there was a lot of them Ho people right outsid the base too! Always askn for your money. Well,
back to my story about that there pizza wagon. One night Paul, that was the prists name, a good babtist name, but he was one of them there roman catoliks, decides that we need to get happy so we heads out the the tavern. We take my 64 GTO as it is running and has a new top on it to keep the wind out but the heater don't work too good. We drive to this one place and have a couple of beers and then we drive to another place and have a couple of beers, then we get hungry. So we go to a place called the Black Ram. The best place you would ever want to go as they have good food that won't mak u sick and every friday nite the football players and the locals have a really good bar fite. I sitting on the bare stoll talkn to the pretty wairtress when thes boys start up some trouble. Its over in a few minuts when the bar keep gets out his billy club and raps a couple of them over the head and put them out into the street. I keep on talkn to the pretty gal tryn to make some time with her when one of the fellers that got throwed out comes bak in to get his hat which he forget in his haste leavn the buildn earlier. As he walks past me he nails me in the back of the head which knocks me off the bar stool. I tryn to figure out what the heL* happened when two fellers grab him un throw him up against the wall. His elboew goes right threw one of them high dollor fancy wall speakers so now the music sounds funny. Whall, thet barkeep is not happy atall now! He is madder then them sousx at the little big horn with that long haired hippy, custer. He proceeds to raise a few knots on that boys head. I still havn't got it all together so I tell the precher (paul) that it is time to go to a quieter place of business. We drive down to this lake where they have another nice bar and you can go swimmin in the summertime. We have a few more beers but due to the commotion at the other place we never did get our food. Now I feeling real good. We finish up at that place and and decide to head home. I figure that Paul (the precher) can drive as I cant see too good. I giv him the keys and then he throws um bak sayn that he is too drunk to drive. So off we go. Were drivin about 5 mph down thiss country road tryn to keep it between the while lines. We eventuall get right close to the sleeping dorm so I figure that I had better clean her out as we had been going slow for several miles. I put here in first gear and we proceed to activate the rocket motor (tri-power), waal befor
you know it we are flying down the road. Were at
about warp speed and its time to go around a corner. This here old car did not handle any better than an old tractor and stopped worse. But
were flying. We manage to get around the corner and glory be but there is a pizza wagon right in front of us. Stopped right in the middle of the whole road deliverin pizza to the rich folks in the dorm. I figure thet there aint any way thet I am goin to stop an time so I take her to the ditch. Waal, we just miss thet pizza wagon but we are out of control now. We do a coupl of donuts in the parking lot next to the street and run over the hill and down into the pond that all of them fancy colleges have so that the beautiful young gals can sun bath themselves by in the summertime. Kersplash goes the carinto the pond.
Waal Paul (the prechr) can't swim a lick so here
I am havin to fish him out of the pond. We walk back up the hill to the dorm and that SOB pizza wagon is gone by then or I would have cut his tires with my pocket knif. We decide that we had enoug excitement for the night so we turn in.
About 4 in the morning there is a big commontion at the dorr so Paul (the prechr) goe to se whats
happenin. I wasnt reall sleepy before that so I had gone out the winder looking for another party. Now paul (the precher) has a glass eye which rolls back when hes been drinking so when
them fellows see him at the door it looks like he has been havin a really good time on some of that columbian gold weed. They ask where the owner of the GTO is and he says the last time he say me I was going out the winder. Now our winder is on the trird floow so thay think I committd suiside.
Ictually I clumb down a rope we had to the ground but paul forgot to tell them about the rope. A bunch of college kids saw the car in the pond with just the antenna showin so that though about it and call the poolice. Then fellers thought that I had been murdered so they proceeded to take an axe to my truck lid to get it open. The fish were swimmin around in the car just like a
fish bowl. Whal they chopped a hole in my truck and found out that I was not there. They parked the car in the lot and after a few days it got really ripe with the water gone in the car and them fish still there. When Paul (the precher) got out of jail, He beat the charge cause he was a prist and them church folks spoke up for him,
we tried to figure out just what happened. The best that we could come up with was none of it would have ever happened if it hadnt been for that Damnd Pizza wagon.

[Tom Vaught]

I showed up at and eventually got my piece of paper from one of them there engine-earing skools in Michegan. As I was a professional college studnt most of the years I was there I kneeded to take a brake from stuudin some times. I had a good friend who was studing to be a prist in the siminairy. He was a "big Time" drinker, which I found out later was common among them fellers. I had come bak from working for Unkle Sam in the govment war with them little fellers with Ho names. Ho Chi somethin, etc. I found out that there was a lot of them Ho people right outsid the base too! Always askn for your money. Well,
back to my story about that there pizza wagon. One night Paul, that was the prists name, a good babtist name, but he was one of them there roman catoliks, decides that we need to get happy so we heads out the the tavern. We take my 64 GTO as it is running and has a new top on it to keep the wind out but the heater don't work too good. We drive to this one place and have a couple of beers and then we drive to another place and have a couple of beers, then we get hungry. So we go to a place called the Black Ram. The best place you would ever want to go as they have good food that won't mak u sick and every friday nite the football players and the locals have a really good bar fite. I sitting on the bare stoll talkn to the pretty wairtress when thes boys start up some trouble. Its over in a few minuts when the bar keep gets out his billy club and raps a couple of them over the head and put them out into the street. I keep on talkn to the pretty gal tryn to make some time with her when one of the fellers that got throwed out comes bak in to get his hat which he forget in his haste leavn the buildn earlier. As he walks past me he nails me in the back of the head which knocks me off the bar stool. I tryn to figure out what the heL* happened when two fellers grab him un throw him up against the wall. His elboew goes right threw one of them high dollor fancy wall speakers so now the music sounds funny. Whall, thet barkeep is not happy atall now! He is madder then them sousx at the little big horn with that long haired hippy, custer. He proceeds to raise a few knots on that boys head. I still havn't got it all together so I tell the precher (paul) that it is time to go to a quieter place of business. We drive down to this lake where they have another nice bar and you can go swimmin in the summertime. We have a few more beers but due to the commotion at the other place we never did get our food. Now I feeling real good. We finish up at that place and and decide to head home. I figure that Paul (the precher) can drive as I cant see too good. I giv him the keys and then he throws um bak sayn that he is too drunk to drive. So off we go. Were drivin about 5 mph down thiss country road tryn to keep it between the while lines. We eventuall get right close to the sleeping dorm so I figure that I had better clean her out as we had been going slow for several miles. I put here in first gear and we proceed to activate the rocket motor (tri-power), waal befor
you know it we are flying down the road. Were at
about warp speed and its time to go around a corner. This here old car did not handle any better than an old tractor and stopped worse. But
were flying. We manage to get around the corner and glory be but there is a pizza wagon right in front of us. Stopped right in the middle of the whole road deliverin pizza to the rich folks in the dorm. I figure thet there aint any way thet I am goin to stop an time so I take her to the ditch. Waal, we just miss thet pizza wagon but we are out of control now. We do a coupl of donuts in the parking lot next to the street and run over the hill and down into the pond that all of them fancy colleges have so that the beautiful young gals can sun bath themselves by in the summertime. Kersplash goes the carinto the pond.
Waal Paul (the prechr) can't swim a lick so here
I am havin to fish him out of the pond. We walk back up the hill to the dorm and that SOB pizza wagon is gone by then or I would have cut his tires with my pocket knif. We decide that we had enoug excitement for the night so we turn in.
About 4 in the morning there is a big commontion at the dorr so Paul (the prechr) goe to se whats
happenin. I wasnt reall sleepy before that so I had gone out the winder looking for another party. Now paul (the precher) has a glass eye which rolls back when hes been drinking so when
them fellows see him at the door it looks like he has been havin a really good time on some of that columbian gold weed. They ask where the owner of the GTO is and he says the last time he say me I was going out the winder. Now our winder is on the trird floow so thay think I committd suiside.
Ictually I clumb down a rope we had to the ground but paul forgot to tell them about the rope. A bunch of college kids saw the car in the pond with just the antenna showin so that though about it and call the poolice. Then fellers thought that I had been murdered so they proceeded to take an axe to my truck lid to get it open. The fish were swimmin around in the car just like a
fish bowl. Whal they chopped a hole in my truck and found out that I was not there. They parked the car in the lot and after a few days it got really ripe with the water gone in the car and them fish still there. When Paul (the precher) got out of jail, He beat the charge cause he was a prist and them church folks spoke up for him,
we tried to figure out just what happened. The best that we could come up with was none of it would have ever happened if it hadnt been for that Damnd Pizza wagon.

[Jerry Brock]

With that spelling???? I thought Gach was banned!!
Good one,Tom.
Jerry

[Robert Imhof]

Yeah, really

[ January 01, 2002: Message edited by: Robert Imhof ]</p>

[78 GHOST]

Hooked on Phonics.. contraction of Car into = carinta

[Tom Vaught]

LowRevs,
I was having a hard enough time trying to butcher
the language without worrying about correctly
typed phonics. Carinto was a fat finger!
I hope it made some people smile which was the only intent. About the only part that was modified was my gto did not actually go into the pond. My friend's car was stolen one night and it
would up the the pond, and later with a hole chopped in the trunk (65 Ford). Gtos do not do well swimming! Tom

[jim brady]

Tom, did you stiff the jaconi? What about the Russian and the pretsil hold? You good friend who laughed so hard on that trip home from Dallas.