[Bob Dillon]

Originally Posted by eaglesan13

Per mom's instructions, after her passing we all met at the house, drew numbers and began taking turns taking her stuff.

Cool story. When my mom died and we were moving her stuff out, we found a file folder in her bureau drawer for each child with significant stuff in it; our birth certificates, birth announcements, and each of us had the front section of the local paper for the day we were born.

And on the bottom of each heirloom (if you will) was a piece of masking tape with the name of the child she wanted to have it.

I should die so organized.

[chipster]

Originally Posted by Bob Dillon

Liquidate the entire estate and buy the place you want. That way, it's over and done with.
No worries, no future hassles, done. It's the best way. I promise.

This is what I should have done when my grandfather died. Was about seven years ago, last year I finally sold his farm house, but I'm still living in his house in town with Grandma's crap that I don't know what to do with. I wish I would have sold EVERYTHING and started out fresh.

[Bob Dillon]

Originally Posted by chipster

This is what I should have done when my grandfather died. Was about seven years ago, last year I finally sold his farm house, but I'm still living in his house in town with Grandma's crap that I don't know what to do with. I wish I would have sold EVERYTHING and started out fresh.

Nothing stopping ya from having a gigantic yard sale (or renting a dumpster) and doing that now. Housing prices have begun to recover. Our home has appreciated over 200K since we bought it in '09.

[geeteeohguy]

I would sell and move on. I was in a similar situation in '09 when my dad passed. My brother was living in the house and and stayed there two more years, selling off the estate to pay the bills and letting the house further deteriorate. I wanted to sell immeditately and split it, he was emotionally attached. I ended up doing the 400 mile round trip every weekend to do major renovation, while he drank beer and watched television, telling me "you don't have to do that'. When the house did sell, in late 2011, even with my putting 20k into it, it had dropped in value over 120k, due to the falling market. So, holding onto the property caused a huge loss, plus hard feelings. Joint ownership of a longtime family home is an awkward situation. Look at it from your siblings point of view, and let them sell it so they (and you) can move on. Being stuck in a business relationship with non-like-minded siblings is a rough thing indeed.

[eaglesan13]

Many years ago mom started a process where you could "claim" items. You just went and asked her for something, and if it had not been claimed yet, she would put a label on it with your name. On the day we disbursed her stuff, the labeled stuff was given out first and did not come out of your share. The next thing we addressed was stuff we had each given to her, it was to be returned to the giver. For example, one brother had bought her a nice gas BBQ, so that went back to him, etc.... When I arrived at the house my sisters had bags lined up in front of the living room fireplace. (Same as our Christmas stockings had been for years). There was a bag for each of us. Inside were personal items we had each given to mom over the years. Every birthday card, school project, or mothers day card I had ever given my mom was there. Every report card from K-8th grades was there. (I always thought I started being a goof-off in high school, but according to my report cards it started much earlier). The hospital bill for my birth was there. In 1958 it cost my parents $167.00 for my birth. The insurance paid $50.00 and they paid for the rest in three installments. My baby book was there, listing everything I did daily for the first year of my life. I can't believe she kept all this stuff for all eight of us. Yes, I should be so organized.

Originally Posted by Bob Dillon

Cool story. When my mom died and we were moving her stuff out, we found a file folder in her bureau drawer for each child with significant stuff in it; our birth certificates, birth announcements, and each of us had the front section of the local paper for the day we were born.

And on the bottom of each heirloom (if you will) was a piece of masking tape with the name of the child she wanted to have it.

I should die so organized.

[poncho-mike]

Thanks for all the advice. For those that asked, here are a few more details that might help.

Dad passed away over three years ago, and had a will. Mom also has a will that specifies the proceeds be split three ways.

I'm told by an accountant that the real estate passes directly to the heirs and is not subject to executor fees. About 75% of the estate is real estate with the rest being cash. Mom has no debt. My mom had already given away some of her possessions to my brother and sister before she passed, such as dad's truck and motorhome.

The location really isn't that rural, it's only about two miles from the city limit of the biggest city in the county. It's just that the bulk of the new development in the county is taking place about ten miles away. There are some very large high end brick homes on large lots within a couple hundred feet of my mom's driveway. There are also 70s era small brick homes nearby as well. There is a lot of open farm land as well.

I live near Raleigh, and it's pretty hard to buy a piece of land and put a big garage on it unless it is zoned commercial and that gets expensive. The land my mom has is zoned Rural/Agricultural, which should allow a decent sized garage.

I could be wrong, but I don't see my sister wanting to try to screw me. She is disabled and her husband is near retirement, so I'm sure they want the money to make life easier in retirement. Money spent by either side on lawyers is wasted money, but I can afford to waste it on legal fees far more than she can.

My parts have been stored there for years with only a few things gone and I know who got them. I also don't store expensive stuff there. It's mostly things like doors, fenders, trunk lids, endura bumpers, etc. It's heavy stuff that the average thief doesn't want to mess with.

The land isn't easily split up. There is only about 60 ft of road frontage, just enough for a driveway to the 11 acres. There are some homes to the left of the driveway and a huge field to the right. The 11 acres was carved out of the large farmed field many years ago and has enough land for one driveway.

I have potentially the same issue with theft if I buy a house in the mountains. Most of the land where I can put up a pole bar or steel building is pretty rural and could easily be robbed.

['ol Pinion head]

Would agree with Chris, Dillon, & Doug, its not you Mike. Regret hearing of you mother's passing

My family exp: As a teenager I was the muscle for cleaning up several large rural farm houses in family estate deals where a grandparent was the administrator of the estate. One such job took the good part of the summer, time I could have spent playing Ball. Having witnessed distant relatives come out of the woodwork, stuff disappearing, squabbling, etc, in one instance, upon a great aunt or passing, my immediate family said NEVER again! With an eye towards estate planning, everything my family has interests in has been set up in trusts. I'm a few years younger than you & am going though the estate planning now.

On the real estate deal, old rent houses & tornado tractors, not happening with this kid, helped several friends over the year's on their continual rental burdens. Going to be a landlord, better off with nice duplexs, tri-plexs, or multi family townhouses. Location means a lot, ours are in a nearby large college town, but we don't lease to college kids only stable adults, retiree types are the best.

[PonchoV8]

Originally Posted by Bob Dillon

I should die so organized.

[KS circutguy]

Jesus Poncho,stop trolling!

[PonchoV8]

Stop trolling ME, little boy. I'm in agreement with him. Are you just sad because nobody is trying to engage you?

[PonchoV8]

Mike, it doesn't sound to me like it would be 'the end' for the mountain cabin dream. It sounds like it would be if you decide to keep the family homestead. You can always sell it later.

Are the cars stored there anything you really want to keep and would regret selling?

[KS circutguy]

Little boy say's to the old-man .
Get it right!lol

[poncho-mike]

There are no cars stored at my parents home right now, just parts.

I have a number of cars and a lot of parts stored in a barn I rent for cheap, most are round port. My plan was to buy out my brother and sister, sell one or two cars, clean out dad's garage, and move my cars into his garage. Doing this would also mean I don't have to find somewhere to store all of the sheet metal I've got stashed.

I guess I'm getting cold feet now that I have to make a decision soon.

[KS circutguy]

JMO; sell the stuff now while the market is still there.
Wish you all the luck.

[justincampbell]

Agree with all who have said mixing business and family is generally bad news.
In addition, I will say from personal experience that property with sentimental value generally makes a person spend time and money quite foolishly.

I would say sell the property, take your portion and just keep on doing your own thing.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

[71SportRagtop]

Money can really bring out the worst in people, including friends and family. I let the property sell and be done with it. I speak from experience.

Back in 1995 my good friend and I were fishing in the Pocono mountains of PA. We got to talking about possibly buying a place up there instead of always renting crappy hotel rooms whenever we went up to go fishing or skiing.

Long story short in 1996 we purchased a small home in a real nice area. We were super close to 3 major ski resorts, plus there are 2 really nice fishing lakes in our development. We bought the house and for years it was a ski, fishing, and party house for us and all our buddies....that house can really tell some stories!

Anyway, in late 1998 my buddy was accepted into the PA State Police. After initial training, he was stationed out by York PA which was about 3 hours from our home. Since it was a long ride and he was working all kinds of different shifts as a new State Trooper, he decided that he wanted out of our vacation home and he offered me the chance to buy him out. I loved the house and the area and decided to go for it.

We decided together that the fairest way to place a value on the house was to have 3 seperate appraisals done and then average them out, then we would divide that value between us and I'd see if I could afford to buy him out or not. So I paid for one appraisal, he paid for one, and we split the 3rd.

We took the 3 appraisals, averaged them out and split that value in half. Turns out that value was about $10K shy of what he thought it should be. I won't bore you guys with all the gory details but it got heated, nasty, and ended up ending a 25 year friendship.

In the end my fiancée (now wife) and I bought the home from him. It was REALLY tight for us for several years because as this was all going down we were also planning a wedding, a honeymoon, and buying a primary home for us to live in after we got married. I. The end it all worked out. We now only have 3 years left on the vacation home mortgage and we use it a lot. We constantly have friends and family up there and I wouldn't trade it for the world. But still in the end I lost a good friend out of it.

[jhann42]

When my mother finally died my brother and his wife took care of cleaning out the house. I told them that they could have or distribute as they wanted. No hassle. My daughter is a CPA. No arguments. Got the cash and all are as friendly as ever. Very smooth. Since you don't need and extra money don't knick/pick and make it smooth. Jon

[Heybuck]

Originally Posted by poncho-mike

Dad passed away over three years ago, and had a will. Mom also has a will that specifies the proceeds be split three ways.

That sentence there says it all......

Your mother specified her estate be split three ways. Why don't you follow her wishes and simply allow the estate to be split - 3 ways.

Doesn't sound like your sister is trying to shaft you in any way - sounds to me like she just wants an early finalisation which possibly is what she and her husband need? My only concern would be that she doesn't take a lowball offer whereas you might all benefit a bit more by making sure the property is sold for a fair price.

Best you rent some storage, move out your stuff and make your own base somewhere else.

Above all, DON'T let this estate wind-up lead to animosity between you and your siblings. We are all a long time dead. Stay friends with them please

Ian

[PonchoV8]

Disagree. It's obvious the spirit of MIKE'S explanation is that each sibling profit equally and none above the others. The determining factor is that his sister is the executer of the estate and it's her decision, legally as well as in spirit of the wishes.

Mike, over the years I believe I've learned that you're conservative in approach to decisions, making them after lengthy consideration. It appears your sister was ready to make this decision when the final time came. Maybe she's worried it will drag on. I understand your trepidation and it's fortunate that you're in a position to take either direction. Was most of the problem with rentals the tenants or dealing with the state about getting compensated for them taking part of your property and not providing septic services?

It's common that I can't decide what I want on the menu at new restaurants. I can never emotionally commit to the vehicle I drive daily. All these decisions have been compromises and been about back-thinking the decision.

[poncho-mike]

Before my mom's condition worsened earlier this year, I had been looking at various places in the mountains. Earlier this spring, an old farm house came up FSBO on Craigslist. It has a detached 2 car garage and a 40 x 30 pole barn in very good shape. The price was pretty much in line with what my parent's home site had appraised for, so my wife and I took a ride to see the place in person today.

Without going into detail, I liked the pole barn and garage, but the house needed more work than what I wanted to take on. It wasn't horrible, I just didn't like the house. It was laid out funny and the interior was rather dark. The inside walls and ceilings were tongue in groove chestnut, which the owner stressed was pretty desirable. When coupled with the small windows in the house, the interior was slightly dark. The electrical system needed upgrading pretty badly as well. I think the house would have turned into a constant project, and I want to work on my cars when I retire, not a house. I think I'm going to pass on that particular place.

Anyway, I'm back where I started. I probably have two months to move about 800 sq ft of sheet metal and miscellaneous stuff, or buy my siblings out. I've about decided the best thing to do is move half of it, and let my sister list the property and try to sell. If there are no takers, then I'll consider making an offer. If the property is on the market for six months or so and there are no offers, then it will be hard to argue down the road that I bought it too cheap. If it sells, I'll have cash to put toward my cabin.

I was planning to go to Norwalk this year. I've got quite a few 70-72 Firebird and 71-72 GTO endura bumpers stored there. Would nice original endura bumpers do well at Norwalk?

Thanks for your thoughts, guys.