[Kerry H]

I am looking for some advice to give my wife. She has been a retail assistant manager with a major department store for 15 years. She is now working under a new manager and they apparantly do not get along. My wife is the last original manager at the store, everyone else is new. She is very dedicated to her work. She does not want to be manager and is happy in her position. Anyway, her new manager keeps telling her she is a "horrible person" "does not want her on her team" etc... She keeps all information away from my wife, including info that is specific to her departments. When my wife asked to be transferred to a new store, the manager replied "Who the Hell would want you ??" Well, she has been thier 15 years, the company paid 40K to transfer us to a new state, etc....so somebody must think high of her. The district manager is her managers buddy so she feels that she can not go to her either. Yesterday she told my wife that if she does not quit, she will just keep looking for reasons to writer her up and get her off her "team".

What would she do ? I am worried because she makes way more than I do, we have all our benifits and insurance through her job. She does not know what to do. She thinks that if she goes to corporate with this, they will take the managers side and fire her. Even though the manager says it is not her work ethic. The manager does not like anybody in the store, and appears to take it all out on my wife. To me it sounds like a power trip and is threatened by my wifes experience.

Any advice would be great.

[mike nixon]

i'd be on the hunt for a new job.

i'd also be going over her mgr's head as far as it took to make my point with documentation. the documentation will be the key to solving this. without that it's a he said, she said deal.

mike

[Scarebird]

Your wife needs to keep a log of all this. Lawyers love the term "hostile enviroment". She needs to note time/day and who was present.

[YVEYANT]

Discrimination, Harrasment & Unfair treatment in the workplace. Have her follow a complaint with her Human resources department if she has one and request a meeting with the manager who is above the partial manager. Also request that it is one on one so it does not become a ganging up on her. Let them know respectfully, if this is not resolved by (give a date) you will be speaking to an attorney regarding the matter of the above mentionedbeing that it has gone too far already. Her manager may hate her for it but he will never bother her again. Chances are, one of the two will be transfered out either your wife or her manager. No higher up's want any heat from an attorney. Your wife's manager will catch some serious heat for the matter even being brought up. It also shows him that workplace problems can be taken out of the loop diminshing the insider hooks he thinks he has with his manager.

[az67goat]

First of all, sorry to hear this. My wife runs into cr*p like this too. Here is what I think. Management will just side with her boss because it the easiest way out of the problem and they do not care about right and wrong. I'm afaid that she should probably look to get out. I could be wrong. I am generalizing here, but if her boss can get away with being that beligerant toward employees the company is probably run by weak self serving types. I know that it's tuff to leave after being with a company for so long... Hope her boss leaves first.

[ho428]

I'd talk with an employment attorney to learn her options and then find some way to tape her bosses badgering it possible. Keep a good attitude no matter what they say, they'll try to bait her.
No matter what happens though, if it goes to arbitration they'll find a way to get her out if the managers are together on it.
But a nice settlement might make things a little easier on you and afterward the company would probably dismiss both managers as well.

I can't stand bosses like that, I've had a few. I had easy options out though.

Good luck, keep us posted.

[webfoot]

There has to be some kind of employee hotline for her to call into and report this kind of behavior. Where my wife works this is taken very seriously.

The new lady might have a friend that is looking for a job.

On the other hand, with 15 years of management experience, there will be a lot of companies that like her resume.

[OHC6-Man]

Originally Posted by webfoot

On the other hand, with 15 years of management experience, there will be a lot of companies that like her resume.

Definatly agree with that. 15 years of management experiance will definatly look good on a resume (especially if the new job is similar to the one before).

But as others have said, an attorney may work.

[YVEYANT]

If she does go the route of leaving she should be upfront with her upcoming interviewers in regards to what has happened at the previous job as they are not likely to give her a positive recommendation. Suprisingly, many companies take a positive view towards this as they will appreciate her honesty and judge her based soley on her interview, job related knowledge & how she presents herself before them.

[Bjorn]

All good advice above, but first...in the meantime "document, document, document"....if possible record the boss during conversation ,by means of tape recorder or cell phone...call your own home phone or such w recorder...

documenting will be very helpful....esp to an attorney or similar...or HR dept...

[Kerry H]

Thanks for the replies everyone. She has been keeping documentation on all of this. I told her 3 months ago when it really started to get bad to call corporate but she was afraid to. I think the problem her manager (a female) has is that my wife has been with them for 15 years and pretty much does things by the book. She has held every position in the store from Loss Prevention Supervisor to Auditor, to Assistant MGR. She does not want the Manager position however.

Not to say my wife is perfect. She will let people know if she thinks that something is wrong and will not sit by and let something pass. It may have gotten her in trouble but I don't know. BUT, the fact that the manager tells her she is a "Horrible Person", "Who the Hell Would Want You " ? and so on. Now that is personal and has nothing to do with work. If it was a work thing, she has been there 15 years so I don't think she would have lasted that long if it was a performance issue.

I think she should talk to an attorney as well and see what they say. Until then, I told her to try and get a transfer to another store to resolve the problem and if that is not an option, keep her mouth shut and look for another job. The problem is if she loses her job, we are hurt. I took a pay cut when we moved to AZ (for her career) and we need her income the way it is.

Thanks again.

[webfoot]

My wife has been the head manager for a long time now, and I listen to her talk about her work all the time. Trust me, just because someone is a manager, does not mean they are worth a s*%t.

Out of curiousity, does the company she works for only have 3 letters in its name?

[Kerry H]

Out of curiousity, does the company she works for only have 3 letters in its name?[/QUOTE]


Nope, 5 letters........I won't say the name however, because knowing my luck somehow it would be used against her.

In my experience, Managers always win. If the going is good, it is because the Manager is on top of things. If it is bad, it is the employees that are idiots not the managers. Those above the manager will side with her and not my wife guaranteed. Those with a higher position always win whether they are right or wrong.

[6704gto]

get a lawyer involved sounds like discrimation to me,or slug it out

[Old Blue 66]

All good advice here. I cant believe that if its a major operation, they would allow this to happen. In this day and age, that sort of stuff has zero tollerance in most larger more "by the book" corporations.

Best of luck to her.

[Kerry H]

Originally Posted by Old Blue 66

All good advice here. I cant believe that if its a major operation, they would allow this to happen. In this day and age, that sort of stuff has zero tollerance in most larger more "by the book" corporations.

Best of luck to her.

It is a VERY major store. But I don't think anybody knows about it. I think the manager has some problems with others aswell but ot to this extent. I think the manager covers her steps pretty good. She had some papers she was flashing in front of my wife that was supposed to be about her, but she would not let my wife see them. My wife does not know who she can trust anymore. It is all woman in the management staff and I think they all think that it is a competition. Woman with titles and power trying to be better than the other. Sounds sexist but it is true I think.....Except, my wife is content with her positition and does not feel that way.

[Rustie]

USed to be a manager of four women who were my stabiltiy group. Biggest bunch of hens fighting in the chicken yard that I have ever seen. And some of these women were in their 50's! I was appalled at how juvenile and high schoolish women who were grandparents could be! Back stabbing and gossiping about each other. Taking turns ratting each other out. It was horrible.

I did it for two years before asking to move on and I know that the group of them has never kept a supervisor (male or female) for more than 3 years. They just wear on everyone's nerves.

Having said that, women in your wife's company sound much the same way. The fact that she is waving around papers and not letting your wife see them tells me it's all BS. If she had something, she'd be gloating about it. The fact that she is bluffing tells me she is trying to intimidate your wife more than anything. Your wife is going to have to stand up to it and make her stand or no one in the company will respect her.

[Kerry H]

Thanks again everyone. You all have good points. I don't know though......I have personally seen higher up management side with another higher up without even listening to the person in the lower position. Then when they are proven wrong, then they say they have to stick up for the manager. That is one reason why I personally will never, ever trust an employer because when it comes right down to it, they will stab you in the back, yet you are supposed to give 1000 percent to them. I think my wife had such a lucky career for a while that she is blind to that fact and she is just finding out the fact that you can't trust an employer. Eventually, you get hung.

The perfect example is, I worked for a company awhile back and left to go to another company. All was well I thought until I found out that they read an email from a friend at my previous employer inviting me to lunch. It was just lunch with a friend. So, they fired me for that reason saying that they did not know where my loyalties were. This was a week after my review where they told me everything was great and gave me a raise higher than what they originally promised me. Trust me, if I could find a way to be self employed, I would. I envy all of you who are and hope you treat your employees well. I think a happy employee makes a better employee. Leading by intimidation or what ever only makes people want out.

Thanks for listening.

[kaysersuzuki]

Originally Posted by Rustie

Having said that, women in your wife's company sound much the same way. The fact that she is waving around papers and not letting your wife see them tells me it's all BS. If she had something, she'd be gloating about it. The fact that she is bluffing tells me she is trying to intimidate your wife more than anything. Your wife is going to have to stand up to it and make her stand or no one in the company will respect her.

thats all it is,bull sh1t she has nothing on your wife,have your wife,chitchat with the others in the store,someone she feels the closest to and see whats in the gab line,I'm sure others are aware of whats going on and if you have another witness or someone else who is getting harassed it will look god for her to corporate or in court,but GET IT ON TAPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Hitman]

Here is what I would do. You mentioned the company had you guys transferred. I would have her call the HR person at the store she was transferred from, and also to the HR person at the store now as well as corporate. The words you quoted are very harsh and can come across as harassment in some cases. Do not go over her bosses head to another boss. Human resources is you only option. HR is suppossed to take this seriously cause they are the ones that have to protect the employee and they hate the words lawsuit. Hope it works out for you.