What would you do ??? Advice needed
 

I am looking for some advice to give my wife. She has been a retail assistant manager with a major department store for 15 years. She is now working under a new manager and they apparantly do not get along. My wife is the last original manager at the store, everyone else is new. She is very dedicated to her work. She does not want to be manager and is happy in her position. Anyway, her new manager keeps telling her she is a "horrible person" "does not want her on her team" etc... She keeps all information away from my wife, including info that is specific to her departments. When my wife asked to be transferred to a new store, the manager replied "Who the Hell would want you ??" Well, she has been thier 15 years, the company paid 40K to transfer us to a new state, etc....so somebody must think high of her. The district manager is her managers buddy so she feels that she can not go to her either. Yesterday she told my wife that if she does not quit, she will just keep looking for reasons to writer her up and get her off her "team".

What would she do ? I am worried because she makes way more than I do, we have all our benifits and insurance through her job. She does not know what to do. She thinks that if she goes to corporate with this, they will take the managers side and fire her. Even though the manager says it is not her work ethic. The manager does not like anybody in the store, and appears to take it all out on my wife. To me it sounds like a power trip and is threatened by my wifes experience.

Any advice would be great.

i'd be on the hunt for a new job.

i'd also be going over her mgr's head as far as it took to make my point with documentation. the documentation will be the key to solving this. without that it's a he said, she said deal.

mike

Discrimination, Harrasment & Unfair treatment in the workplace. Have her follow a complaint with her Human resources department if she has one and request a meeting with the manager who is above the partial manager. Also request that it is one on one so it does not become a ganging up on her. Let them know respectfully, if this is not resolved by (give a date) you will be speaking to an attorney regarding the matter of the above mentionedbeing that it has gone too far already. Her manager may hate her for it but he will never bother her again. Chances are, one of the two will be transfered out either your wife or her manager. No higher up's want any heat from an attorney. Your wife's manager will catch some serious heat for the matter even being brought up. It also shows him that workplace problems can be taken out of the loop diminshing the insider hooks he thinks he has with his manager.

First of all, sorry to hear this. My wife runs into cr*p like this too. Here is what I think. Management will just side with her boss because it the easiest way out of the problem and they do not care about right and wrong. I'm afaid that she should probably look to get out. I could be wrong. I am generalizing here, but if her boss can get away with being that beligerant toward employees the company is probably run by weak self serving types. I know that it's tuff to leave after being with a company for so long... Hope her boss leaves first.

I'd talk with an employment attorney to learn her options and then find some way to tape her bosses badgering it possible. Keep a good attitude no matter what they say, they'll try to bait her.
No matter what happens though, if it goes to arbitration they'll find a way to get her out if the managers are together on it.
But a nice settlement might make things a little easier on you and afterward the company would probably dismiss both managers as well.

I can't stand bosses like that, I've had a few. I had easy options out though.

Good luck, keep us posted.

There has to be some kind of employee hotline for her to call into and report this kind of behavior. Where my wife works this is taken very seriously.

The new lady might have a friend that is looking for a job.

On the other hand, with 15 years of management experience, there will be a lot of companies that like her resume.

Definatly agree with that. 15 years of management experiance will definatly look good on a resume (especially if the new job is similar to the one before).

But as others have said, an attorney may work.

If she does go the route of leaving she should be upfront with her upcoming interviewers in regards to what has happened at the previous job as they are not likely to give her a positive recommendation. Suprisingly, many companies take a positive view towards this as they will appreciate her honesty and judge her based soley on her interview, job related knowledge & how she presents herself before them.

All good advice above, but first...in the meantime "document, document, document"....if possible record the boss during conversation ,by means of tape recorder or cell phone...call your own home phone or such w recorder...

documenting will be very helpful....esp to an attorney or similar...or HR dept...

Thanks for the replies everyone. She has been keeping documentation on all of this. I told her 3 months ago when it really started to get bad to call corporate but she was afraid to. I think the problem her manager (a female) has is that my wife has been with them for 15 years and pretty much does things by the book. She has held every position in the store from Loss Prevention Supervisor to Auditor, to Assistant MGR. She does not want the Manager position however.

Not to say my wife is perfect. She will let people know if she thinks that something is wrong and will not sit by and let something pass. It may have gotten her in trouble but I don't know. BUT, the fact that the manager tells her she is a "Horrible Person", "Who the Hell Would Want You " ? and so on. Now that is personal and has nothing to do with work. If it was a work thing, she has been there 15 years so I don't think she would have lasted that long if it was a performance issue.

I think she should talk to an attorney as well and see what they say. Until then, I told her to try and get a transfer to another store to resolve the problem and if that is not an option, keep her mouth shut and look for another job. The problem is if she loses her job, we are hurt. I took a pay cut when we moved to AZ (for her career) and we need her income the way it is.

Thanks again.

My wife has been the head manager for a long time now, and I listen to her talk about her work all the time. Trust me, just because someone is a manager, does not mean they are worth a s*%t.

Out of curiousity, does the company she works for only have 3 letters in its name?

Out of curiousity, does the company she works for only have 3 letters in its name?[/QUOTE]


Nope, 5 letters........I won't say the name however, because knowing my luck somehow it would be used against her.

In my experience, Managers always win. If the going is good, it is because the Manager is on top of things. If it is bad, it is the employees that are idiots not the managers. Those above the manager will side with her and not my wife guaranteed. Those with a higher position always win whether they are right or wrong.

get a lawyer involved sounds like discrimation to me,or slug it out

All good advice here. I cant believe that if its a major operation, they would allow this to happen. In this day and age, that sort of stuff has zero tollerance in most larger more "by the book" corporations.

Best of luck to her.

It is a VERY major store. But I don't think anybody knows about it. I think the manager has some problems with others aswell but ot to this extent. I think the manager covers her steps pretty good. She had some papers she was flashing in front of my wife that was supposed to be about her, but she would not let my wife see them. My wife does not know who she can trust anymore. It is all woman in the management staff and I think they all think that it is a competition. Woman with titles and power trying to be better than the other. Sounds sexist but it is true I think.....Except, my wife is content with her positition and does not feel that way.

USed to be a manager of four women who were my stabiltiy group. Biggest bunch of hens fighting in the chicken yard that I have ever seen. And some of these women were in their 50's! :eek: I was appalled at how juvenile and high schoolish women who were grandparents could be! Back stabbing and gossiping about each other. Taking turns ratting each other out. It was horrible.

I did it for two years before asking to move on and I know that the group of them has never kept a supervisor (male or female) for more than 3 years. They just wear on everyone's nerves.

Having said that, women in your wife's company sound much the same way. The fact that she is waving around papers and not letting your wife see them tells me it's all BS. If she had something, she'd be gloating about it. The fact that she is bluffing tells me she is trying to intimidate your wife more than anything. Your wife is going to have to stand up to it and make her stand or no one in the company will respect her.

Thanks again everyone. You all have good points. I don't know though......I have personally seen higher up management side with another higher up without even listening to the person in the lower position. Then when they are proven wrong, then they say they have to stick up for the manager. That is one reason why I personally will never, ever trust an employer because when it comes right down to it, they will stab you in the back, yet you are supposed to give 1000 percent to them. I think my wife had such a lucky career for a while that she is blind to that fact and she is just finding out the fact that you can't trust an employer. Eventually, you get hung.

The perfect example is, I worked for a company awhile back and left to go to another company. All was well I thought until I found out that they read an email from a friend at my previous employer inviting me to lunch. It was just lunch with a friend. So, they fired me for that reason saying that they did not know where my loyalties were. This was a week after my review where they told me everything was great and gave me a raise higher than what they originally promised me. Trust me, if I could find a way to be self employed, I would. I envy all of you who are and hope you treat your employees well. I think a happy employee makes a better employee. Leading by intimidation or what ever only makes people want out.

Thanks for listening.

thats all it is,bull sh1t she has nothing on your wife,have your wife,chitchat with the others in the store,someone she feels the closest to and see whats in the gab line,I'm sure others are aware of whats going on and if you have another witness or someone else who is getting harassed it will look god for her to corporate or in court,but GET IT ON TAPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here is what I would do. You mentioned the company had you guys transferred. I would have her call the HR person at the store she was transferred from, and also to the HR person at the store now as well as corporate. The words you quoted are very harsh and can come across as harassment in some cases. Do not go over her bosses head to another boss. Human resources is you only option. HR is suppossed to take this seriously cause they are the ones that have to protect the employee and they hate the words lawsuit. Hope it works out for you.

Forget about going to her manager's manager. That's not the proper way to do it. You don't go into her boss's office and drop something like this in her lap. For one thing, it might be what they want her to do. Even if it isn't, she might have a knee-jerk that'll go against your wife, simply because she's put on the defensive.

The proper thing to do is to go to HR, that's their job. The HR Manager will act as your advocate, knows the laws, knows the Company policies and has access to and knows everyone's work record. HR is also is going to want to solve the problem with as little fuss as possible which doesn't mean that they'll side against your wife.

Going to them will also prevent repercussions after things are settled. She can go to the NLRB, before she complains to HR, and explain the situation to them. They can give her advice and it can be a good weapon in her arsenal if she can say that she's already talked to them. They can also advise her as to whether or not she needs to go to a lawyer before she complains. I, personally, don't feel she needs to go to a lawyer before going to HR, but that's purely my opinion.

I wouldn't give up on the job, yet. She's got a lot of options and much more power than some on here seem to think. The Law's on her side, she just has to do things in the right manner.

Rich

Sorry, Hitman, I didn't know you posted since I started to write my posting. I was busy and couldn't finish it until just now.

Rich

The HR departments in retail stores are usually pretty bad, i.e., not very effective for personnel issues other than loss prevention. I would start with the people most influential in having your wife transferred to begin with. The discussion with them would be about the situation and about options. The only other thing she can do is go to her boss's boss. My wife was a retail store manager for a long time, and so was my daughter. Sometimes people like your wife's boss are protected for one reason or another - until their organizatoin falls apart.

The best course is to start looking for an equivalent job.

I will let my wife read this thread tomorrow. She is actually at work now. Hopefully she will just get a transfer. She called the HR at corporate today and was told nobody was there to take her call. She told them it was urgent and she was told that they would get back to her within 48-72 hours. I guess until something happens it is business as usual. Please keep the advice coming and thanks again. I will keep everyone posted on what is going on.

My wife who worked for a major company went through a similar thing with her boss about four years ago. Just remember the people in HR work for the "company" I do not care what anyone says,the company signs their paychecks at the end of the day. My wife worked 12 years for this company,working her way up the ladder and suddenly one day the boss decided to make my wifes life miserable for months for her to quit so her (the bosses)friend (another employee/newbie) take my wife's position (which she got when my wife left). I spoke with a labour lawyer and they called it "constructive dismisal". We depended on my wife's income.Two toddlers,new home,etc... it was tough but I supported my wife and told her to leave as it was not mentally healthy for her,me or the kids. When she told me she wanted to drive the car off a bridge i believed her. I now drive beat up $500 cars, work a second job to help make ends meet but we actually have a better quality of life. I would personally document everything that is said with times and dates and speak with a lawyer that specializes in labour law. I found that the company will try and cover it's ass internally if you approach them yourself. Not to preach paranoia but in my wife's case i'm sure they would have found a way to legally dismiss her (nitpicking BS blackballing stuff) after we spoke with HR had we not spoken to a lawyer.I wish you the best of luck,I know how tough a time this is for your wife,yourself and your family but you need to be strong and stay focussed.

Well, she talked to the HR rep from the corporate office. They told her to talk to the district manager who is buddies with her manager. HR is going to be talking to people as well. I think she may end up being transferred to another store possible. That to me seems to be the easiest way to fix the problem. Plus, they don't lose an employee who has 15 years experience and the invested all the $$$ to move us out here. I suppose we will find out more in the next few days. Until then, I told her no matter how bad her manager gets, just to keep calm, don't say anything wrong and do not confide in others at the company because she can't trust anyone. Especially with Christmas being here, I am sure the company wants this to be as smooth as possible during their busiest time of year.

OK Kerry...here's some advice from someone who is also in retail. Documentation was the best advice up here so far, also taking names of people around but, unfortunately sometimes people that are around will fold out of fear.
The key word here is that she has been with the company for 15 years, to us that means experience to the manager however that translates into a big paycheck........heck your wife might be making more than the manager, so it could be jealousy fueling the remarks. She needs to go coporate with this, someone higher up than her managers buddy. She needs to stay calm and controlled. They will question the manager, they have to. Just remember that sometimes things don't always turn out the way we want them to. If needed she could put in for a transfer over the manger's head and site the reason as the manger she is having trouble with. There is more than one way to skin a cat.
If there are that many people she is causing trouble with you might have a leg to stand on. Just remember, it takes two to tangle. If you refuse to fight with her.....blow her and her comments off.......she just might stop. She just might quit doing it if she doesn't get a rise out of you every time.

Thanks L.D. First off, the manager makes more than my wife unfortunatly so I don't think that is a problem. Corporate sets the wage for their managers. My wife says she (the manager) is pretty much a b**ch to everyone except I don't think she gets as personal with the others, I don't know. I don't think my wife can go to anyone else to see what their situation is because I believe they are all afraid of loosing their jobs. My wife says the manager is the type that likes to lead by fear and intimidation. No offence to woman at all, but this lady is on a power trip is all it seems like to me. She also told my wife that she is not to speak to the district manager because she is to far below her to be speaking to her. God, if there is one thing I hate, it is bullies and people who think they are better than others. Some people think because they have a title and a bigger pay check that they are better.

Kerry, it sounds like you've got a good handle on understanding the situation your wife is in. Management will not side with her unless there is overwhelming opposition to the boss or unless sales and performance is way down--in a way that can be pinned on the boss. The boss is responsible ultimately, so it will play out. I've experience this stuff myself. I was top salesman at an auto store, and never was late. I took a stand when my boss stole from my pocket and lost--he lost later when he was fired for stealing from the company. I got a job doing the same thing within the same company and led sales every month without fail--except when I went on vacations and even then it was close. It was all caused because we had a district head that is a pnick. funny, his name is Rich Kyer, but EVERYBODY in the company called him Bitch Crier. the guy was the cause of distress in his district--nobody liked him (except the region manager). He would've been the guy that his troops would've shot him before the enemy could. I still don't like the manager for stealing, but it goes downhill.

Sometimes this stuff happens with a new manager that feels she can't instill that BS retail attitude of whoring your complete self out for the store cause. Sometimes it's a matter of feeling threatened by either longevity of your wife or devotion from some of the lower level employees. There are bad managers everywhere. My wife went thru at least 15 of them during her retail days. They'd come and go. One came back after stealing. She even admitted that she was allowed to come back because she gave the married district manager a BJ. Of course she didn't last long again and nobody took her seriously in her job anyway. That's how badly companies are in need of quality people though.

She's loyal, she needs to make that clear. She's done well for the company, have her bring in past records to show that. She's being treated unfairly, and she needs to have a copy of all the documentation with her so she can read it directly to HR (this will get their attention). And if there are others having problems she needs to mention this as well. If the manager has filed any complaints, she should mention these are the first ones (or x out of y) in 15 years of loyal service.

Well everyone, it all worked out. My wife is being transferred to a new store after the holidays. She will be over a new department, she has worked with the manager (a man this time) and likes him. So she is kind of excited and relieved. It was a pretty tough stretch for her these past few weeks. Now she just has to make it through the holidays without going insane. Thanks for everyones input and advice.

Keep reassuring your wife do not let her become like the boss.As others ahve said document.I've been told to do that because some of the crap here gets to me also.I've been called a 'trouble maker' and usually get the **** work.Because I do not conform at times.maybe the co. is paying your wife to much so they want her to quite and thats what this new boss is all about.Or basically she is jealous.Proceeding with the legal side maybe bad not sure. Good luck. Bob

Try this site it help me with my job.www.LaborLawCenter.com, Good Luck

Check this out........My wifes manager was escorted out of the building the other night. FIRED !!!! Looks to me like karma played its hand in this situation. Un-real.

Merry Christmas! :D :hooray:

Hey Kerry!

Just saw your posting, glad everything worked out! This should be an example, the proper way to do it is to go to HR. No matter what happens with them, you've done it the right way. Afterward, if that doesn't give you any justice, you can always say that you tried. If you go outside the Co. with complaints, the first thing they'll ask you is whether or not you've talked to HR.

I'm sure your wife's relieved and euphoric. Is she still being transferred? Or, is there a possibility that she'll get the managership (That's now vacant)?

Rich

rethink this... as this may be construed as a problematic/malcontent associate blaming management for their poor performance/inabilities to be a team member; hence the hunt for a new job.

other hints:

most companies are authorized to release hire date/release date and type of job performed when called for job verification, as they may be sued for slander, find out your companies specific policy.

keep a well kept log of events as they transpire, use experience to keep all "t's" crossed and "I's" dotted..your wife needs to be exceptional for a while until they move to a new target or the boss gets fired/transferred. utilize any resources to create a positive "buzz" around performance.

if she gets a "improvement plan/write up " make sure expectations are clearly spelled out along with measurable metrics that are realistic within a reasonable time, meet often to discuss performance and log it...in this case silence is not golden as they may be allowing "enough rope to hang oneself"

since she already met one on one, when doing a follow ups.. ask to for a neutral third party in there (Human Resources at least). Do
not get confrontational/angry or negative; use email as a follow up to recap discussion, specifically; perceived deficiencies discussed and how it was 'suggested' how to correct them. include any resources that you'll need to achieve this. 'cc' all parties involved. 'force' e-mail confirmation of this. prevent a "moving" target. know where you rank in regards to individual unit/district/nation performance.

toot horn whenever performance exceeds goals by emailing a copy to the boss and her boss.


good luck!!

Party time
 

Should have a party (blanket) for him outside the door.