[wytnyt]

I WEAR THE PANTS IN MY FAMILY!!
when she lets me

[Mattman]

F! U! C! Face!

[4dblnkldude]

My favorite, I say once a month or so. "I didn't know if you wanted me to do the dishes.....so I didn't" We still don't have a dishwasher.

[richard sargent]

100% on how to lose an argument, drop the CBOMB!

C an't
U nderstand
N ormal
T hinking

[Region Warrior]

Mine used to say i drink to much.
Responce; "its because of you"...
Dont let'r un-nerve ya so bad you say the "B" word...

[pierced mikey]

"honey you do this almost as good as my ex" should go over well

[68lemansman]

Me: Maybe I should sell the pontiac.
Wife: Maybe I should kick your a** for even thinking that!

I think she loves the car more than i do!

[Rustie]

Regamble wins!!!!!

At least if you were my husband, you'd get points for some good smart ass comebacks.

The seocnd one on the list... I could see Rob doing that. Actually I think he HAS done that. I said one thing and he mis-heard (which he does A LOT) and next thing I knew he was back in the garage.

[Cobrabill]

Originally Posted by Bob Hall

"you're acting like your mother more and more each day"

/Mother is certifiably insane. Seriously she is.

I can relate.My wife is one of 11.Her mother wasn't/isn't qualified to have ANY.

[455Grandville]

Women: If you have to ask if you're fat, you probably are.

Originally Posted by pierced mikey

"honey you do this almost as good as my ex" should go over well

Play rodeo with her; tell her how good her friend is and see how long you can stay on.

[69goatboy]

Women, can't live with em...........hey Cliffy, pass me those beer nuts...

[pggto]

Girlfriend ask's. "what are you looking for in a women?" Me "A pulse!"

[richard sargent]

If your wife asks ''honey do I look fat'' tell her only when you are looking at me!

[Half-Inch Stud]

Originally Posted by 67drake

Tupperware bowl? Yeah I dropped the pan on my tranny,I think it's still in the garage.

We've got a lead-plated stainless cooking pot because of one of my "Battery tear-down" explorations.


On the upswing; Really close to making a 8 CYL flower pot.

[77 TRASHCAN]

The last 2 years of my marriage...NO words were appropriate.

She complained that I wouldn't talk to her anymore....It's a long story, but our counselor told her (woman counselor) that she wouldn't of talked to her either!!!! No, this counseling session, was not why we divorced...

The Bible says, that a man is the leader of his household, not dictator, not the head asshole in charge. Just says leader, it's good reading, may not be easy to carry out in real life, but CAN work.

[stimpy]

remember my present wife asking if the french frys tasted funny , actually they did , kind of tasted like how gear lube smells , then I asked her which fry daddy did she use , " the one out in the garage on the shelf because it had oil in it and was smaller , then I explained to her not to use any cookwear thats in the garage as I use it to work on cars/trucks /heavy equipment . whats the fry daddy used for ?? heating up bearings so I can slip them over shafts ....( you should see the looks at a jobsite when I am cooking up bearings for a dozer ) thank goodness I use vegie oil in it instead of petroleum .

[stimpy]

Originally Posted by 4dblnkldude

My favorite, I say once a month or so. "I didn't know if you wanted me to do the dishes.....so I didn't" We still don't have a dishwasher.

when I remodeled the kitchen I took out the dishwasher ( come on theres only 2 of us how many plates can one dirty and I use paper plates ) well needless I am supposed to wash the dishes , as she doesn't dirty them up . funny my plates go in the trash .. but the sink is full .

[Barrier Blue]

"That looks like one of your mother's outfits" always pisses her off.

[RAJ7395]

Wife: I'm so fat...

Me: Yep.. I had to fire my anal thruster to break orbit.

Wife: A$$hole!!

[gregsgtos2]

Honey,do I look fat in this dress? No-you look fat in EVERY dress! That one will really help you get back out to the shop.